Refuge Farms (www.refugefarms.org)

It's after 10:30pm and I'm just now getting in to the house after the nightly chores of feeding. I'm sore and tired. And Kathy has just pulled out of the driveway and is finally on her way to her house. We both have frozen feet, our hands are cold, and Kathy's head is filling with, what sounds like, a good head cold.

Not supposed to be this way. We started feeding at a little after 5pm....

Heading out of the house after our Refuge Farms Staff Meeting with Vincent, both Kathy and I were pleased with our discussions that evening and excited about the coming weeks. We have Tara organizing the New Year's at THE FARM event and our conversation showed me that good, solid progress is being made on several significant projects. I am pleased even though both Kathy and Vincent are feeling the pressure, I'm sure.

So, off to the old barn we go to feed the "little herd". And nothing eventful happened here .... that is a good thing, you know...calm, easy, predictable ... the most difficult task was getting a halter on Blaise. That issue, however, becomes a non-issue once she sees her feed bucket!

Once that barn was contently munching away, we headed down to the big barn to feed the herd on the Helen Keller Side and then try our best to calmly feed the herd on the Gelding Side. You see, I had just moved a few horses around and so it was still a bit noisy and excited on the Gelding's Side of the barn... but nothing that couldn't be managed with quick hands and feet as well as ears and eyes in the back of our heads!

As I turned on the lights, I heard it. The moan. My eyes shot to the pasture on the Helen Keller Side. I saw Bonita and April and knew PONY! and Gracie were off to the side. It was Jimmer that I did not see. But then I heard it again. The moan. And then my eyes adjusted to let me see Jimmer lying in the hay. He was down. Damn!

Turning, I shouted to Kathy,"Open the door!" Not fully aware of what was happening, Kathy dutifully began to put down the buckets she was working on and do her best to respond to my command even though, I'm sure, she wasn't even sure what door I was talking about!

And then again it happened. The moan. And now Kathy knew, too, that Big Jim was in trouble and our speediness in getting to him was critical.

Everything flew! Doors came open, fresh gas was put in the Allis, PONY! was brought in out of the pasture and tied. Gracie was brought in next. Then April was herded in to a stall. Gates were opened. The tractor was started to warm up a bit. And we both started praying... In fact, as I was getting up on the Allis, I said to Kathy, "I need you to pray, Kathy." Her response? "Already started that."

When I went out to Jimmer to put the collar around his neck, I noticed he was wet with sweat and really just there. Not moving. Not trying. Not fighting. Just there. My heart jumped up in to my throat. Is this the time he has chosen to cross? Does he not want to live and so not want to get up on his feet again? How will I know what to do? And what not to do?

When I drove the tractor around the corner, Jimmer showed his distaste for that contraption and did his best to right himself and get up before I could get the Allis close to him... but was unsuccessful. Too many years of pulling competitions had twisted his back and left him lying on his side like a mummy. He needed the help of the tractor but he also needed to want to get up... and I wasn't sure I was seeing that in his eyes this time.

The first step in trying to right him was to turn him so his feet were heading downhill - so when he was getting up he would not be working against gravity. I pulled him around using his bottom hind leg. He just let me do it... no fight and no tussle.... just lying there.

The next step was to try to get him up. And Big Jim let the tractor pull him but he did not attempt to get his legs under him. Instead he just let me kind of move him around. Fighting the tears, I watched as Kathy pounded on his legs and flanks to get the blood going all the while screaming and pleading with him to "Get up, Jim! GET UP! GET UP!!"

We needed to try a different approach. Using his underneath hind leg, we rolled him over as gently as you can roll 2,400 pounds of cold, shivering, wet, stiff horse. But after the roll over, the "sleeping flesh" was on the top and his flesh with the good blood flow was underneath. Maybe, just maybe, the strong legs would be able to get him up.

Kathy and I both pounded on the flesh and muscle that had undoubtedly gone to sleep...all the while telling him that in order to get up, he had to want to get up. And we weren't really telling him. We were pleading with Jimmer. Neither Kathy or I would admit that maybe he was crossing tonight.

One more attempt to get him upright. I had my mind already decided that if Jimmer still did not participate on this attempt, I would continue trying to right him, that was for sure. I would not give up! But before I continued, I would call for Dr. Brian. I would listen to Jimmer's decision.

Hook him up to the tractor. Check the gears. Check the throttle. Recheck the gears. Get my right foot on the brake. Get my left foot half way down on the clutch. Back up slowly. Tighten the rope. Check the throttle. Pray. Lift my left foot a touch. Pray. Back up and bring him up. PLEASE!

It is at this very moment that my fears are almost overwhelming! What if my foot slips off the pedal? What if the tractor stalls in mid-lift? What if I don't stop soon enough and pull Jimmer right over? What if the pulling on Jimmer's old body causes his legs to break? the fusions to snap? his old neck to suffer? Oh, please!!! It must be a smooth effort and his old body MUST hold together!! Please!

Kathy was hollering and pounding and praying all at the same time! I simply glued my eyes to the horse and his legs and tried to be ready to stop, go forward, go backward... whatever it was that this magnificent horse would tell me to do.

I pulled a bit and he came a bit. I continued to pull and Jimmer continued to come. I pulled a bit more and Jimmer came a bit more. Finally, I had one pull left and Jimmer, bless his heart! stood up!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Jimmer was standing!!

Both of us unwrapped this Gentle Giant from all of his ropes and collars and praised him! Now, it was truly in Jimmer's court to recover.

After some Bantimine®, some food, and a touch of hay, Jimmer is showing us he is back to stay with us for a while longer. He is guarding his girls - Bonita and April - as they sleep in the hay which just a few hours ago held his aged, crippled body. He is standing high and proud and being a good herd boss on his tired, shakey, arthritic legs. Jimmer is weak and sore and knows that tonight will be easy compared to what tomorrow will bring.

Kathy and I have brushed him and rubbed him with old blankets. And we have watched him for over 90 minutes to make sure he is not twisted or in pain. No sign of either, thank God!

So, it's after 10:30pm and I'm just now getting in to the house after the nightly chores of feeding. I'm sore and tired. And Kathy has just pulled out of the driveway and is finally on her way to her house. We both have frozen feet, our hands are cold, and Kathy's head is filling with, what sounds like, a good head cold.

But Big Jim is up and eating and his head is high! It is a good night at Refuge Farms! Jimmer will be checked every 30 minutes until there is absolutely no doubt, whatsoever, that he is just fine. And he will be hugged and kissed and pampered for a few days... just so he knows he made the right decision to stay with us for just a tad bit longer.

Love you, Jimmer. G'nite. You sleep. I will watch over.

Enjoy the journey of each and every day,
Sandy and The Herd and Jimmer!

----------Update - Early AM Saturday Morning:

It's 4:30am and just after the 8th or 9th check overnight - who's counting? Each check has shown me that Jimmer is still sweating. His rib cage and his neck are still producing sweat although it appears that his flanks are drying off.

He is eating although I see no evidence of his drinking any water. He's a bit "sucked up" around the hips.

His head is up and he's moving - in fact, he's almost agitated in his movements. He walks the circle of the barn whenever I open the gate. Usually he's very slow moving and resistant to moving after he has laid down. This is unusual.

How do I interpret all of this? I don't think he's in pain. Jimmer's head is up, his gum color is good, and he's eating. These are all symptoms of not being in pain. Although the sweating and pacing are symptoms of stress which usually means pain. I cannot tell if he has pooped since the door is open to the barn and he could go outside...but there are no deposits in the barn.

I will continue to watch him and will not stop the vigil until I see the sweat diminish and the poop appear. But he's up and active....although almost too active...Jimmer, oh Jimmer, what are you telling me?

----------Update - 10:30am Saturday Morning:

I have hope now…more than at any time in the last 12 hours.

Just now, as I was in the barn watching for any sign of progress or decline, Jimmer pooped. Not the usual amount and certainly not the consistency that is normal for him, but it is poop none the same. It’s dry from being in him for a while and small balls, but it is poop.

And he is receptive to food. That is a very good sign. And then he heard my heart pleading and went over and drank about a dozen swallows of warm water. Knowing he was cold and shaken, I had plugged in the stock tank heater for him last night. I did this knowing in the 30 degree weather that the water would become warm. And I thought that was good for Jim. I know I would welcome warm water rather than ice water if I’ve just had a rough night.

The sweating on his neck continues but his sides seem to be drying. I have rubbed him with towels and he is calm when I do this. If he were twisted or had a gas bubble, he would not like my pushing and rubbing on his sides. And honestly, if Jimmer were twisted, he would have crossed by now.

Another tube of Bantimine®, some hugs and kisses, a scoop of feed, and a prayer. He’s set for a while but looking like whatever he is fighting, he is winning!

----------Update - Early Saturday Evening:

It is now a full 24 hours since Big Jim lay down and I believe he’s out of danger and on the mend.

The sweating has stopped and I’ve brushed him out several times today. He seems a bit sore in his shoulders which is more than understandable given the workout he had last night. But he is drying and not producing any more excessive sweat. Thank heavens for that!

Jimmer also continues to eat. In fact, he has a good appetite! That never suffered for a second!

His water consumption is light, but there. He’s drinking and I still have the stock tank heater plugged in to warm the water thinking it may be easier for him than drinking ice-cold water on a sore tummy.

Those huge fragile legs of his are becoming steadier with each hour. The trembling has stopped in his hind legs and his step is big – not the tiny little step he usually takes after such an episode.

The poop is there – still not his same consistency as usual and not the volume I would expect, but it’s there. Hopefully by morning, that will have righted itself.

So, no more Bantimine® and no checks tonight – at least I don’t think so. But of course, if I find myself wondering how he is, I’m sure a quick peek in the barn won’t hurt, will it?

Sleep well, Big Jim. I’ll still watch over. And thanks for coming back yet once again!

Sandy